is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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