There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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