Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
