i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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