barbara walters just said penis...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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