They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
