Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm getting married
To pizza
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
