I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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