Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
