She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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