you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
