So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
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I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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