He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
