I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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