The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
