i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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