I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
