you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
