you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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