Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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