are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
