hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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