Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
