I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I feel great
I just peed on a car
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
