Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
