The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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