Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
