your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
