were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
