You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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