quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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