so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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