NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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