yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
