Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Enjoy the penises
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
