from now on my penis is your penis
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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