quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
