They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
