I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
