Dual....:-)
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
