we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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