I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
