i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
