Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
