She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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