just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
