I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
