census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
As shirtless as possible
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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