Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
