I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Drunk is a universal language darling
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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