Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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