How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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