he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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