I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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