I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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