My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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