..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
