theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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