mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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