They should really pass out barf bags in church
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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