I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me