There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
