No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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