I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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