I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
