Whod you bang
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
