i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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