Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize